Michigan town digs up a 1,000-pound 1920s safe, sells raffle tickets, drills it open before 400 people. Inside: burnt wood. Well, then.

Dispatch, we have a safe. Construction workers in Harrisville, Michigan, hit a 1,000-pound safe from the 1920s while digging this summer, WCMU Public Media reports. The Harrisville Lions Club did the sensible thing and sold hundreds of raffle tickets for whatever was inside. On Sunday, Sept. 20, about 400 people gathered at the local park. There were old-timey costumes, a carriage pulled by Clydesdales, and a skit in which the local attorney played an IRS agent on hand to collect Uncle Sam's share. Guesses ran from ledgers to liquor to a member of the Purple Gang. A particle physicist from Michigan State University guided two men as they drilled through a thick layer of concrete. After about 20 minutes they pulled out a metal box. Inside: burnt wood. The skit's theory is that the safe belonged to a hat shop that burned down, and it fell through the rubble. The raffle winner got a chest of donated goodies instead, and the event raised more than $10,000 for local scholarships and group homes. So the safe was empty and the town still came out ahead. Can't ask for much more than that. Over.