TOWN LANTERN

Memes

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+ Light your lantern in Meme HQ

The funny stuff. Keep it clever, and keep it clean enough to leave open on the family room screen.

HOUSE RULES— pull up a chair, and mind the porch. (tap to read)

Town Lantern is a front porch, not a shouting match. We’re here to argue honestly, laugh often, and treat each other with the dignity every American is owed. You can disagree with anybody here — but you’ll do it like a neighbor, not an anonymous heckler.

HOW TO POST IN MEME HQ
  • Write a headline that tells the truth and earns the click — wit is welcome, deception isn’t.
  • Link the original source. No link, no post.
  • Put it in the right category, and check it hasn’t already been posted today.
  • Say what you think in the summary — that’s what it’s for.
  • If you stand to profit from a link, say so plainly in the post.
HOW TO REPLY
  • Argue with the point, never the person.
  • Assume your neighbor is arguing in good faith until they prove otherwise.
  • Bring a source when you’re correcting somebody.
  • You can be sharp. You can be funny. You can’t be cruel.
  • Admit it when you get one wrong. That earns more respect here than winning.
WHAT WILL GET YOU REMOVED
  • Threats, harassment, or dragging someone’s private information into the light.
  • Slurs aimed at a person or a people.
  • Spam, scams, and vote manipulation.
  • Knowingly passing off something false as true.

First offense earns a warning. Second slows you down. Third closes the gate. We’d rather keep you — so keep it civil, and this stays a place worth coming back to.

Police in Monroe Township, N.J., report a "brief foot pursuit (we won)" of a very slow suspect: Mikey the sulcata tortoise, now back home.
Folks, the Monroe Township Police Department in Gloucester County, New Jersey, had a pursuit on Monday, Sept. 28, and I'm happy to report it was a slo…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia Inquirer.com0 reactions0 comments9/29/2026
Two macaques pulled a part off a Singapore streetlight. The transport agency called them its "unexpected maintenance crew."
Folks, somewhere in Singapore there's a streetlight with a grievance. Two long-tailed macaques were caught on video removing a control node from the t…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia AsiaOne0 reactions0 comments9/28/2026
Cape May's Lobster House flooded, and jokesters added lobsters swimming out to sea. The owner: "if it adds to the story, then go ahead."
Folks, every flood has a silver lining, and at the Lobster House in Cape May, N.J., it has claws. As tidewaters spread across the Jersey Shore during …
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia Inquirer.com0 reactions0 comments9/28/2026
Dayton police chased a car-denting goat for 90 minutes and named him Cardio. Now he lives on a farm with roughly 50 new goat neighbors.
Folks, for months police in Ohio kept hearing the same complaint: a runaway goat was hopping onto parked cars, scratching and denting them, and gettin…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia The Seattle Times0 reactions0 comments9/27/2026
A credit union sign at South Bend's airport asks, 'Did you leave your oven on?' One traveler's video of it has passed 25 million views.
Folks, here's a question that can ruin a perfectly good trip. Molly O'Rourke, a South Bend native who lives in Los Angeles, flew home to visit her par…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia ABC570 reactions0 comments9/27/2026
A San Mateo officer answers a burglary alarm, finds no burglar, meets a big rat and ends up stuck in five sticky traps. The rat got away.
Folks, this one comes straight from the San Mateo Police Department, and they told it on themselves. An officer answered a burglary alarm in the Calif…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia HuffPost0 reactions0 comments9/27/2026
A 16-pound stray led about 12 airport workers, five golf carts and a pickup on a chase in Naples, Fla. Now he's a very chill dog named Jet.
Folks, gather round for the tale of the busiest 16 pounds in Southwest Florida. Colton Murray was at his desk at the Naples Airport, where he works as…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia The Seattle Times0 reactions0 comments9/27/2026
Road signs meant for Hilton and Egginton read "Hillton" and "Egerton." Same misspelling as last year. Hillton is a Swiss production company.
Folks, here's an adventure in navigation from Derbyshire, England. Temporary road signs near the A38 were supposed to point drivers to the villages of…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia BBC News0 reactions0 comments9/26/2026
A Florida school got its TI-83 calculator back in the mail 20 years late. No note, no name, just "the class of 2006." Nobody owes a dime.
Folks, somewhere out there is a graduate with a clean conscience and one less thing in the junk drawer. Lincoln Park Academy in Fort Pierce, Florida, …
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia WPBF0 reactions0 comments9/26/2026
Laramie sprays a curb and the bike racks, covers it with gray paint, makes it worse, then pressure-washes the fix. City: our bad.
Here's a three-act play from Laramie, Wyoming. Act One: a city worker sprays a downtown curb yellow and, according to Cowboy State Daily, the overspra…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia Cowboy State Daily0 reactions0 comments9/26/2026
D.C. mails Medicaid cards listing its old .com address. Someone else bought the domain, and it's now an adult site. Always check the .gov.
Folks, you know how Grandma always said to double-check the address before you mail something? Turns out that goes for web addresses too. The Washingt…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia washingtonpost.com0 reactions0 comments9/26/2026
The White House launched an arcade. Tetris was not amused. One game has already been pulled.
Insert coin. The White House launched arcade.gov this month: five retro browser games that remix classics to promote the administration's agenda. 'Fla…
by Desi FuquaCommon Bellvia The Hilltop - The Nation's Oldest Black Collegiate Newspaper0 reactions0 comments9/25/2026